Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a WOMAN’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. She’ll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white Zinfandel,see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had four more years…Alzheimer’s and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zinfandel
personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk…and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the MALE addendum …. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn’t give two shits about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I’m gonna go shag something.

White Zinfandel: He’s gay.

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