How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.

Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went near the oak tree at 3 o'clock.

How do you kill a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a green elephant?
Paint it blue, then kill it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant?
With a red elephant gun.

How do you kill a white elephant?
Tell the elephant it has no clothes on, it turns red with shame and then kill it with a red elephant.

How do you kill a grey elephant?
Keep it in a refrigerator. It will turn blue because of the cold, then kill it with a blue elephant gun

How do you kill a pink elephant?
Put a cheescake and put three nuts on it. Then put it in the middle of the forest. The elephant will come and eat the three nuts, and leave the cake and go away. The next day, put the same cake with two nuts. The elephant will again eat the two nuts but not the cake. The third day, put the cake, but put a single nut on it. The elephant will consume the single nut and go away. The final day, put the cake with no nuts. The elephant will come, find no nuts, and will turn red with rage. Then kill him with a red elephant gun.

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